Sometimes people assume that because I’m a mindfulness teacher, work in wellbeing and a (almost qualified!) therapist that I rarely get stressed and I’m really relaxed all the time…
Hahahahahahahaha! Oh I can’t help but laugh at that!
So let me be 100% honest here - I get stressed and sometimes it’s hard to relax.
But this is normal!!! We all get stressed and sometimes it’s really hard to switch off.
I think it’s really important to normalise that.
Does it mean that mindfulness doesn’t ‘work’ or that I need to work harder to be well?
No it just means I am human! Â
Life sometimes is difficult and I don’t think we can ‘fix’ that.
It’s so hard to sit in those emotions isn’t it. We just want to feel happy, relaxed, calm and connected. But we are complex humans with complex emotions. We can’t just feel good all of the time.
Sometimes people have told me that they are not sure they are doing mindfulness 'right' because they still get wound up, still get annoyed and frustrated and don't feel calm. I reassure them they are doing it right and explain that mindfulness doesn't turn us into some form of zen zombie! Where we are so present that nothing ever bothers us ever again.
Firstly that just seems a bit weird! And secondly it wouldn't be healthy or safe. We need difficult emotions to communicate to us when situations are not right, when we are being taken advantage of, when we are not being respected. Or when we are not safe.
So why is it useful to learn and practice mindfulness? It can help us navigate the more difficult times. We can learn how to look after ourselves and nurture ourselves through those hard emotions. It helps us come back to a place of safety and calm after we have been triggered, annoyed, taken advantage of. It provides a space of safety within us.
If you are trying mindfulness and not sure if you are doing it right then here are a few pointers for you...
You are doing it right! It really is one of those things that you can't get wrong so trust me, you are doing ok!
Consistency is key with mindfulness. The more you practice, the more benefit you see (I'll talk more about neuroplasticity in another blog!)
Try doing a 3 minute practice each day for 21 days. Then STOP! Don't do anything for 7 days and see if you notice a difference. When we stop is sometimes when we notice the different it has made. It can be useful to write down your experience when doing this mini experiment.
And if you are still struggling then I'd love to support you! I offer 1:1 mindfulness teaching (in person or online) and also the Mindful Membership. You can check out my offering on the website or drop me an email crclewellbeing@gmail.com
Mindfulness is not the silver bullet that will magically solve all your problems - but it will help you manage those problems with care and compassion.